I remember a few semesters ago in
international relations when Daniel Wernicke and I were assigned to represent
Germany in a model UN summit on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. We studied
for weeks the effects of the holocaust and reparations payments and national
guilt on German-Israeli relations. Today I finally saw a German broadcast about
the area, and I found myself both surprised and somehow not surprised at all to
find a much darker picture portrayed than what I had expected. Granted, I come
from the US where Israeli policy is all rainbows and butterflies, but I did not
expect that the German report would emphasize the “security wall” that Israel
is putting up quite so heavily. With
only a cursory glance I immediately began to pick up on the similarities
between the wall going up on TV and the one sitting in pieces a few hundred
yards from my hotel. I have to wonder if this is normal or if there is some
sort of shift in public opinion going on here. And if there is a shift away
from supporting Israel, what kind of effect will this have on (in particular)
the Muslim population within Germany? Am I experimenting during a time when
relations are set to improve?
Attempt #2 (of all time. No, I’ve
never done it in the States) at eating at a restaurant by myself (the first
being the time I wasn’t allowed to read): the server takes ahold of my arm,
leans over into my face, admits to having only :20 left in his shift, and
implores me to come out and have a drink
with him. Is this what it’s like to eat by oneself as a single woman, with
every server either your self-appointed father figure or a potential date? Or
is this just Berlin?
Wherever I go, everyone always
tries to talk to me in English if they can. This despite the fact that
literally every other person in our group has been mistaken for German on
multiple occasions. But when I put on a hijab the world suddenly seems to
assume that I’m a native. Are there no hijab-wearing tourists coming here?
Again with the invasions of my
personal space. The woman who guards the breakfast buffet (who normally
recognizes me quickly enough that she no longer asks my room number, simply
wishes me a good morning), stepped so far into my personal space that she
nearly made physical contact. She was supposedly trying to read the room number
off of my key tag, but it was laying on the table in front of her, so taking
that extra step and nearly bumping me was wholly unnecessary. Then, again, when
I was at the buffet she came up behind me and started reorganizing the
silverware while I was serving myself, standing close enough for me to feel her
breath on the back of my scarf.
While I don’t speak German, there
are enough cognates for me to understand the general course of most
conversations now that I’ve gotten used to the accent. This morning at
breakfast the couple at the next table over had a conversation which began with
the news, ranged into American foreign policy, hit on Iraq, and then settled on
Islam in general. Each of the last two steps was done with cautious glances in
my direction, with the husband becoming more and more confident and boisterous
as I failed to look up from my mobile phone, even as his wife’s shushing and
embarrassed giggles became more frequent. I have no idea what he was saying,
but I’m betting it was at least mildly offensive.
It occurs to me now that I don’t
remember putting the scarf on this morning. That means that somehow I went from
taking 10 minutes to put it on to being able to do it quickly while still half
asleep in a matter of two days. I keep forgetting that it’s on, too. It’s
amazing how quickly you get used to it.
Maia and I went to Potsdam today.
Everything was closed, so we made due with wandering Sanssouci Park, which was
a wonderful treat. The relatively few people in the area meant that we got
mostly clear shots of everything we wanted to photograph and didn't have to worry about stepping in front of anyone else's cameras.
Etc.
The place was extremely peaceful with so few people around,
but at the same time we got the feeling that it was the kind of place you don’t
want to be caught after dark. It’s very easy to get lost here if you don’t
already know your way, and despite being so close to the center of town many
areas were quite isolated.
There were also some less isolated spots. For example, there
is one particular yard that seems to be the place where couples go to try their
hand at public fornication. Of course, it’s not labeled thusly, so it’s very
easy to stumble upon (and in fact walk into the middle of, as we found) without
realizing what’s going on all around you until you look up from whichever
landmark you happen to be perusing. Luckily, while the women had much of their
clothing off, the men tended to be content remaining mostly clothed, so I’m
still unburdened by the knowledge of what men look like naked.
Three separate
couples in one shot
The man
stepping between myself and his newborn-carrying wife this morning was a new
one.
I went and
got a new scarf and some pins today. No one bothered me on the train, though
the perpetual stares were there. I went the wrong way out of the Ubahn and had
to backtrack several streets in order to find the place that I had been looking
for, but once I got there I learned that no one spoke English (this is my first
encounter with this problem, believe it or not). Two employees were pulled out
of the back to be asked how well they spoke, but neither could understand what
I was saying. Eventually another customer was asked to communicate with me on
their behalf, but she couldn’t understand what I was saying either. I was
finally able to make my intention known with very specific hand movements, only
to learn that they didn’t have what I was looking for. The employee with the
best English lead me down the street several blocks (I soon realized that
probably every clothing store in the area had what I was looking for) to a
particular store where pins were in abundance. The woman behind the counter spoke
very good English when it came to cashier work, and very little English related
to anything else, but was much more receptive to my (largely) unspoken appreciation
of her help. At no point did anyone seem to think that I looked out of place.
Perhaps it was simply that I was obviously foreign and therefore could be
expected to be different. Aside from a bunch of American foreign exchange
students from the University of New Hampshire joking about getting “halal numbers,”
the train ride back was largely uneventful. After a few minutes of listening to
their banter I made contact and revealed the purpose of my dress in casual
conversation in order to gauge their reaction. They seemed very uncomfortable and no longer
wanted to speak amongst themselves as long as I was standing nearby, which wasn’t
very long; they moved a few cars up the train in short order. Perhaps the Americanization of Germany is a poor idea for more reasons than the ones I'm used to hearing.
I feel as
though the look that I get from men who are familiar with the hijab is much
like the look that I give people I don’t know when I hear them speaking
English. Finally, something I understand!
Apparently
I can still get hit on at a restaurant while
wearing a hijab and sitting in a large
group of other students. This has got to be a Berlin thing.
I locked
eyes with a lesbian couple while waiting for the tram. We looked each other
over, me half expecting them to come up and explain how oppressed I was, them
likely wondering if my religious beliefs would lead me to rail at them somehow.
Both groups were mildly surprised at the other’s quiet acceptance. I get the
feeling that these two groups of people are not always in accord with one another,
and wonder what it would have been like walking through the GLBT festival with
this thing on.
I find myself running to put on a
hijab each time I leave our hotel room. Even breakfast comes with a headscarf
now. I feel uncomfortable being seen by other people without it, even the other
people in our group who have clearly seen me without it before. When I began to
overheat while we walked yesterday one of the other students suggested taking
it off, and I have to confess that my first reaction was horror; being told to
take it off, especially in public, felt like being asked to strip naked. I’ve
become attached to it now; I like wearing it. Even if I know that saying so
probably has my father grinding his teeth.
Pictured: Rebellion
Also (and while this doesn't pertain to the class or Berlin I do find it interesting) this website keeps trying to correct hijab into hijack.
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